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Talking Points and Resources for Difficult Conversations on LGBTQ+ Issues

  • Writer: Bolingbrook Pride
    Bolingbrook Pride
  • Mar 19
  • 7 min read
7 Steps for Effective Advocacy Infographic Developed by Bolingbrook Pride
7 Steps for Effective Advocacy Infographic Developed by Bolingbrook Pride

Navigating difficult conversations about LGBTQ+ issues can be challenging, especially when discussing these topics with family, employers, policymakers, or school boards. While these discussions can sometimes feel uncomfortable, they are essential for fostering understanding, respect, and inclusion. Whether you're talking to loved ones about personal experiences, advocating for workplace policies, or seeking to influence public policy, it’s important to approach these conversations with patience, empathy, and a clear message.

This article provides practical tips, sample talking points, and helpful resources to guide you through these important dialogues. By focusing on personal stories, addressing misconceptions with facts, and utilizing inclusive resources, we can create more supportive environments for LGBTQ+ individuals. From engaging family members to influencing policymakers, these tools can empower you to advocate for equality and contribute to a more inclusive society.


Gay couple engaged in serious conversation with older relatives.
Gay couple engaged in serious conversation with older relatives.

Conversations with Family

General Tips:

  • Approach with patience and empathy. Not everyone has had exposure to LGBTQ+ issues, and some may need time to understand.

  • Focus on personal stories and experiences rather than debates over abstract concepts.

  • Address misconceptions with facts while keeping the discussion personal and relatable.

  • Set boundaries for respectful dialogue; it is okay to disengage if the conversation becomes hostile.

  • Offer resources such as books, documentaries, or personal testimonials to help family members learn at their own pace.

Sample Talking Points:

  • "I want to share something important with you because I trust and value our relationship. I hope we can have a respectful conversation where we listen to and understand each other."

  • "Being LGBTQ+ is not a phase or a choice. It is an inherent part of a person’s identity, much like being left-handed or having brown eyes. The science and lived experiences of millions of people confirm this."

  • "Respecting someone’s pronouns or identity doesn’t mean you have to change your beliefs—just that you respect their dignity. Think of it like using someone’s correct name or title. It’s a simple act of kindness."

Resources and Supporting Materials:

PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays):

  • Our Children: Questions and Answers for Families of LGBTQ+ People: This booklet offers answers to common questions and shares stories from families. PFLAG - Our Children

The Trevor Project:

  • Friends & Family Support Systems for LGBTQ+ Youth: Provides insights on understanding and supporting LGBTQ+ young people. Ally Guide and FAQ

Bolingbrook Pride

  • Gender Spectrum Resource Guide: 12- page pdf with glossary, do's and dont's for allies, and tons of resources. Use it yourself or share it with those you love. Download the Interactive PDF Here

GLAAD:

  • Tips for Allies of Transgender People: Offers guidance on how to support transgender individuals respectfully. GLAAD - Tips for Allies




Conversations with Employers and HR Managers

General Tips:

  • Emphasize inclusion as beneficial for workplace culture, employee retention, and company reputation.

  • Reference legal protections where applicable (e.g., Title VII of the Civil Rights Act in the U.S.).

  • Provide data on diversity’s positive impact on productivity, innovation, and teamwork.

  • Offer examples of inclusive policies that have been successfully implemented in other companies.

  • Propose concrete steps like diversity training, inclusive hiring policies, and employee resource groups.

Sample Talking Points:

  • "Creating an LGBTQ+-inclusive workplace is not just about compliance; it’s about fostering a culture where everyone can thrive. Employees who feel valued and respected perform better and stay longer."

  • "Studies show that companies with inclusive policies see higher employee satisfaction, increased innovation, and better team collaboration."

  • "Implementing inclusive policies can help protect the company from discrimination lawsuits and improve public reputation, making it a win-win situation."

Sample Letter to HR:

[Your Name][Your Position][Company Name][Date]

Dear [HR Manager’s Name],

I am writing to advocate for greater LGBTQ+ inclusion in our workplace. A truly inclusive work environment fosters respect, enhances teamwork, and boosts productivity. Ensuring that all employees feel safe and valued benefits both individuals and the company as a whole.

I would love to discuss initiatives such as:

  • Implementing clear non-discrimination policies that include sexual orientation and gender identity.

  • Providing diversity and inclusion training that covers LGBTQ+ topics.

  • Encouraging the use of inclusive language in company communications.

  • Creating an LGBTQ+ employee resource group to provide support and foster community.

I am happy to meet to discuss these ideas further. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,[Your Name]

Resources and Supporting Materials:

Human Rights Campaign (HRC):

Out & Equal Workplace Advocates:

Video Resource:

  • I.D.E.A.S. – LGBTQ+ Awareness: Creating a More Inclusive Work Culture: A training presented by Equality:Maine discussing the benefits of LGBTQ+ inclusion in the workplace. Making Your Agency More LGBTQ+ Inclusive




Conversations with Policy Makers

General Tips:

  • Be concise and direct; policymakers have limited time.

  • Use statistics and personal stories to make a compelling argument.

  • Present clear action items they can take.

  • Follow up with emails, calls, or meetings to reinforce the importance of the issue.

  • Research their stance beforehand to tailor your approach.

Sample Talking Points:

  • "LGBTQ+ individuals deserve the same legal protections as everyone else, and policies that protect them from discrimination ensure equality and fairness."

  • "Discriminatory laws harm families, businesses, and communities by fostering exclusion and driving away talent."

  • "Investing in LGBTQ+ protections leads to stronger, more inclusive communities where all citizens can contribute to economic and social progress."

Sample Letter to a Lawmaker:

[Your Name][Your Address][City, State, ZIP][Date]

Dear [Representative’s Name],

As a constituent of [District/State], I am writing to express my deep concern about LGBTQ+ rights and protections in our community.

Ensuring equal rights for all—including protections in employment, housing, and healthcare—strengthens our society and economy. When LGBTQ+ individuals are supported, they can contribute more fully to their workplaces and communities, benefiting everyone. Discrimination weakens our workforce and undermines the values of fairness and dignity.

[Insert Personal Story if You Have One - They make a huge difference and provide ammunition for your lawmaker]

I urge you to:

  • Support legislation that protects LGBTQ+ individuals from discrimination.

  • Oppose measures that restrict LGBTQ+ rights or erase their identities.

  • Advocate for inclusive policies in healthcare, education, and the workplace.

Please take action to support inclusive legislation and oppose measures that restrict rights. I appreciate your leadership and look forward to your response.

Sincerely,[Your Name]

Resources and Supporting Materials:

The Williams Institute:

Lambda Legal:

  • Policy and Advocacy: Offers information on legal protections and ongoing advocacy efforts as well as landmark cases.  Lambda Legal - Policy

The Center for American Progress:



Community members attend a school board meeting to defend LGBTQ+ student rights.
Community members attend a school board meeting to defend LGBTQ+ student rights.

Speaking to School Boards

Sample Speech for a School Board Meeting:

Good evening, my name is [Your Name], and I am here as a [student/parent/teacher] to speak about the importance of LGBTQ+ inclusion in our schools.

Every student deserves to feel safe and respected in their learning environment. Data shows that LGBTQ+ students who experience acceptance and support at school are more likely to succeed academically, have better mental health, and develop into confident, contributing members of society.

Recently, executive orders have been signed at the federal level that mandate discrimination against transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming students. These orders include restricting bathroom access and barring schools from supporting students through their transitions. In response, several school districts - including Montgomery County in Maryland, San Francisco Unified, St. Paul Public Schools, and Columbus City Schools in Ohio, just to name a few - have publicly affirmed their commitment to protecting ALL students, regardless of gender identity.  

I want to remind the board and our community that [Your District Number or Name] District’s mission is to empower EVERY learner to develop, grow, and achieve as a productive citizen. Your strategic plan prioritizes a safe, responsive, and caring culture where ALL students are valued, respected, and supported.  

Inclusive policies do not mean forcing beliefs on anyone; they simply ensure that all students are treated with respect and dignity. A school should be a place where every child feels safe to be themselves. Implementing clear anti-bullying policies that protect LGBTQ+ students benefits the entire school community by fostering empathy and reducing overall bullying rates.

I urge you to consider the impact that school policies have on students’ well-being and take steps to ensure that all students, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, have the opportunity to learn and thrive in a safe environment. 

Tonight, I am asking this board to make a clear and public statement reaffirming your commitment to protecting the rights and dignity of every student in our district. Now, more than ever, our students need to know that their schools will stand with them.  

Thank you for your time.

Resources and Supporting Materials:

GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network):

COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere):

  • Youth Resources: Provides support for youth with LGBTQ+ parents, offering perspectives on inclusive education. COLAGE - Youth Resources

Bolingbrook Pride: 

  • Gender Spectrum Resource Guide: 12- page pdf with glossary, do's and dont's for allies, and many clickable links to resources. Gender Spectrum Resource Guide

Video Resource:





Additional Resources

Here are some additional non-confrontational resources that can assist in having informed and empathetic conversations about LGBTQ+ issues.:

National Center for Transgender Equality:

It Gets Better Project:

  • Personal Stories: Features videos from LGBTQ+ individuals sharing their experiences, aimed at inspiring and supporting others. It Gets Better - Stories

Video Resource:

Conclusion

Having difficult conversations around LGBTQ+ issues requires patience, empathy, and well-prepared talking points. By engaging in these discussions with clarity and confidence, we can foster greater understanding and create inclusive environments for all.

 
 
 

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